Ruff weekend.......

Had a pretty lousy weekend (should have know that would happen). Couldn't eat, drink or be merry! {{Glenn, the Capt. Morgan sounds good but will have to wait about a month}}.
If I take my narcotic pain relief I go to sleep and if I take the other one it deadens my esophagus and it feels like the food hangs in my throat.
Today I actually ate a chicken (UGH) sandwich plus some more chicken!! Drinking water is not an option that I like (see earlier posts) but it's better than becoming dehydrated.
The way my Bride has it figured I should be through with radiation and, possibly, chemo on December 9th. Keep your fingers and toes crossed. I am, especially, ready to get out from under the radiation treatments. After the chemo my taste buds might get back some of their function too.
I wish everyone a wonderful week!!!!!

Ok, it's starting to be uncomfortable

This is the 2nd week of radiation treatments and it's beginning to be a bit uncomfortable. Swallowing feels kind of like there's a small restriction. Not really painful, just uncomfortable. Heartburn is increasing also. Taking an OTC pill for that and it seems to be working. The doctor said what he would prescribe is the same thing and it would just cost more.
Trying to decide which liquid meal to have tonight.....even though liquids go down just like solids. Same feeling. The one thing that I remember from the doc is that I have eat, even if I don't want to. Hmmmmmm, Slim-Fast or some other meal in a can.....kinda like me and water, at first. Didn't like water but I have acquired a liking to that clear liquid.

Thought for today (and any other day)

This is from my friend, Glenn. He and I worked together for a few years and I learned a great deal from him. He is one of those who matters.


There comes a point in your life when you realize who matters, who never did, who won't anymore and who always will. So, don't worry about people from your past because there is a reason they didn't make it to your future.

- unknown

GOOD NEWS !!

Went to the oncologist today for the results of the CT that I had on 10/01.
Lesion in the lung has SHRUNK!! One of the nodes in the mediastinum has almost cleared up.
Go tomorrow morning to the radiation oncologist to schedule the radiation treatments. When that is done a call to the oncologist to set up the remaining chemo treatments.
To us, that is good news......

Middle of the night stuff......

Today is Sunday and it's o'dark thirty in the morning, well it was when I got up.
It's really a pain to wake up in the wee hours of the morning and think about work.
Things just pop into (and out of) my thoughts at those hours. Can't get back to sleep.
Too late to take one of those little pills that the Doc prescribed. "You should have 6 to 8 hours to devote to sleep" when you take these things. Why is it that people think about work when they wake in the middle of the night?
I think I have this thing figured out though, when the Bride arises I'll go back to bed. That way I won't wake her or keep her awake and I can get some zzzz's.
I don't dream or think about exotic vacations that I'd love to go on. Nope, I have to think about work instead of balmy beaches, hammocks between palm trees and cool breezes. Why not dream about that cruise I've always wanted to go on? I day dream about it, what's wrong with a nighttime dream?
I hope each of you had a great night's sleep! I'm awaiting, patiently, for my Bride to get up so I can go back to bed.
Have a great day!

B-B-Q and other foods

A friend left a comment about his father's bout with tasteless food saying that his Dad ate BBQ 'cause it was tasty. I can understand that!!! I love BBQ, but in my younger days I was spoiled by a little place outside of Darlington, SC. The place was "Skeet's BBQ". He cooked it himself for years and years then, I think his son might have supervised the pigs. Any way, that was the best vinegar based bbq that I have ever had. This place was open only two days a week and was always packed. First time I went it was around $6 for all you could eat. When last we went it was more like $10, not bad over a period of nearly 30 years.
Tasty food, served hot, served quickly (not fast food), served pleasantly. That's what we all want once in a while. With the economy like it is just no telling how long we (any of us) can afford the night out once or twice a week.

Have happy thoughts all day and keep a smile on your face (the smile will make others wonder what you're up to).

FOOD is GOOD (why don't these two words rhyme?)

My wonderful Bride and I met a friend at lunchtime today. We haven't seen her in about 3.5 years. Great to see her and catch up on her life.
We met at Red Robin (where I've never been) and ate. I don't believe I ate the whole thing!!! I think I made a piggy out of myself. Food hasn't been on my priority list of late, just didn't have any flavor. Today was definitely different!!
My other half is under the weather now and we are trying not to share the ills. She in the bed, me on the sofa, both watching "First Wives' Club" on the tube. She went to the Saturday Clinic @ her doctor's office and got some meds this morning. Like a good patient she took as directed. She's been kinda loopy since.
Me, I'm still kinda satisfied from lunch but have that nagging little bit of hunger trying to convince me that I still need something to eat. Well, maybe I'll give in to the temptation if I can find something sweet. Yeah, something sweet! That's exactly what is needed to finish of the day (no matter that I had a vanilla milkshake at lunch).
Enough for today, I am going to check on my ailing Bride. I just don't like to see her not feeling well.
Hope your weekend is a good one!

Chemo - 2nd Round - Post 2 day

Another day when things weren't great. I have/had been told to expect that
but it doesn't help how you feel.
Actually managed to get down a decent serving of dead yard bird (chicken) and
a couple of mashed up red potatoes last evening. Nothing really tasty but it
was food. Still drinking H2O, plain. Just can't make myself try the flavor
additives......truth is I'm beginning to become accustomed to water. YUK!
Folks at work have been great! Understanding and pitching in.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, use it accordingly.....

I want to share a "thought for the day" I received from a friend:

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Glenn, thanks for the inspiring "Thoughts" you have shared through the years.

Water, what would you do without it?

Shrivel up and blow away?
Who knows? I still don't like that nasty stuff.
Why doesn't some enterprising soul invent some
kind of fluid that tastes good, is not yucky
sweet, has no calories, is colorless, good
hot, warm or cold ???? I might buy that drink.

Working too (much, hard, often). Not really, I
love my job. We are getting ready to open a big
new Women's and Children's Hospital this weekend.
The whole place is going nuts!! Lots to do, moving
people around to get all the tasks handled, people
out, shorthanded..... Hopefully things will even
out next week.

Started to rain a little bit on the way home this
evening. Forecast said rain today, well it did, barely.
I like my Bride's method of forecasting the weather:
Stick you hand outside, if it gets wet it's raining.
If the ground looks really white, it probably snowed.
This is the K.I.S.S. (keep it simple, stupid)principle
of forecasting.

My sister was going to come with me to my chemo next week
but her supervisor wouldn't let her have the day off. I
will miss seeing her but I do understand the Super's
decision. Love you, Sis.

Tomorrow is TGIFF !! Thanks goodness it's FINALLY Friday.

Have a great weekend !!

Hydration (Fluids, but not alcohol)

Hydration is a problem for me at times. I HATE TO DRINK WATER !!
It is just totally BLAH!
Fruit juices are sickly sweet, even the unsweetened ones.
Have mostly sworn off of Cokes and just don't like Pepsi and other
carbonated beverages.
Picky jack@ss, aren't I?
Forcing self to drink H2O. Have to remind self that it's "good for me",
but, being the skeptic that I am, I don't believe me.
Things are actually going along quite well. Enjoying working. Keeps my
mind and body occupied.

Have a wonderful week!

(Jane, I'm still a nut. I've been called worse, believe me.)

Another thought

Experience is what you get when you didn't get what you wanted.

- Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

This young man, husband and father is one one of the people that I have
most admired.
Little did I know that shortly after his death that I would be diagnosed.
If you get the chance, and I urge you make the chance, search "YOUTUBE"
or elsewhere on the web and find "The Last Lecture". Watch it, listen to what he says.
Or you can follow this web address:

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5700431505846055184


It's long, interesting, and thought provoking.

PS: For those of you wondering about the labels I use for these posts.....
Blue Side Up = The sky is above my head.
Green Side Down = The grass is under my feet.

POST-CHEMO - Day 1

Today was a bit unusual, to say the least.
Was pretty hyper during the night and did
not get a great deal of sleep. Was tired
most of the day but still pumped up with
the steroid from yesterday.
HUNGRY!! I could have eaten any and every
thing is sight. (I'm glad I didn't find the
can of sardines in the pantry).
Became pretty "flushed" according to the
Bride. She called the MO's Nurse to see what
we could do. They wanted to call in a script
for XANAX (anti-depressant). Me who is hyper
as hades needs and anti-depressant??? Plus
it affects some of the other drugs I take.
Flush went away of it's own accord at it's
own pace.
Bride got to inject me in the thigh this
morning. I think she got a kick outta that.
A nurse who get a charge outta giving a shot!!!
That's hot.
Bride used my hyperactivity by assimilating
same and mowing the lawn and doing the laundry.
She also made a trip to the grocery for a few
items that we needed/wanted. I wanted ICE CREAM!
I also got PRUNE JUICE. Not too bad if it is
really cold.
Took all of my meds and actually had a decent
day. I did receive a couple of pages from work
and several emails. I have not checked my phone
at the office.
I'm going to attempt a few hours of work Wednesday.
Nothing drastic, just some paperwork and phone
work. Meet with a few people and check on my "people."
Today I leave you with this thought:

Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other but in looking together in the same direction.

- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

But I do reserve the right to come back later today and add more.

Chow

Chemo - Day 1

Today went well, so far. Just got home from CHEMO.
Had three chemo drugs; Carboplatin, Avastin and Alimta.
Also anti-nausea drug, vitamin B-12, and a steroid.
Was told get some CLARITIN for possible bone pain
(highly recommended by UNC Hospitals); they don't know
why or how it works, but it does. A prescription for
another anti-nausea drug, and a drug (Nuelasta) to
stimulate bone marrow growth (Bride get's to give me
this one).
Everyone in the place acted very nice and seemed to
be sincere in the attitude they have toward the patients.
HURRAY for GREAT CUSTOMER SERVICE!!!!! Ya can't find it
in retail establishments except on very, rare occasions,
but it's alive and well in my MO's office.
Bride has gone to the pharmacy (NOT WALLY WORLD) to get
the anti-nausea prescription and relieve her tension by
going shopping at a nearby retail establishment of her
choosing (GRIN).
I'm having a happy day.....I'm actually on vacation from
work for the whole week. I've had two pages, two emails
and, luckily, no phone calls today. Truth be known, I'll
probably go back on Wednesday if, IF, I am feeling OK.
Have a Great! Week.

Another anomaly

Bride and I went to Applebee's Restaurant for dinner last evening.
It's amazing how teenage and young adult females paste a dead grin
upon their faces when the headphone communication set is put into
place.
This thing seems to numb their brain. They appear to be awaiting a cue
or direct instructions from the mothership on seating directions. It's
really a sight to see.
We were directed to the far (shady) side of the restaurant for seating
at a table. I indicated that we would prefer a booth. Even though there
were open booths available adjacent to the spot we were standing, she
spoke into her microphone and suddenly we were being escorted to the
other side of the restaurant (sunny side, with blinds open).
We never did understand this seating fiasco.
The food was really good, which is unusual for a chain restaurant (in
my opinion, at least). The actual waitress (can I really call her that?)
gave pretty good service. Kudos. Of course when I ordered the RIBLETS she
was not certain which rib dish I really wanted. Had to open the menu and
point it out to her. After that things went pretty good. Refills were
numerous and timely.
Maybe I'm getting too critical in my old age, but Bride said that I should
mention Applebee's in the blog......this is the mention.
I would be remiss if there weren't a mention of BEST BUY...don't know where
they get them - associates, that is - . Went in there today with the intention
of spending several hundred of my hard earned dollars on a brand new computer.
While browsing around in another area I asked a female clerk where the GPS
units were. She pointed to a rack nearby. I looked but didn't see the
"accessories" for this modern day wonders. I asked, "Where are the accessories?"
Her reply was "Ice cream and cookies?" Ok, I know I'm a bit slow at times, but
did I miss something here??? When did BEST BUY start selling ice cream and cookies in the GPS section (or anywhere else in the store for that matter)?
I looked at this woman (not a teen or college age person, a fully "growed" adult)
like I had been hit. Told the Bride it was time to leave. I marched right out of
this place and, honestly, wish I go through the rest of my life without having to
set foot in there again.

(I think sales people have this "thing" about giving even decent service)

Pharmacies, Drug Stores, Apothocaries, etc........

These places are a requirement of most of us. A place to buy toothpaste, tampons, film, candy, milk, bread, and, yes, medicines.
At times this can be a pleasant experience and at times it is the experience from hell.
Yesterday my MO's office called in a script for me to pick up. Asked her to tell them that I would pick it up late that afternoon.
Went to my local "wally world" pharmacy to get said meds, arriving at 4:40PM. Clerk (they are called ASSOCIATES in this place) asked for name & DOB, which I graciously provided.
She; "We don't have anything for you"
Me; "Are you sure? It was called in early today"
She; "NO!"
Me; "Could you check in pile of scripts to be filled and let me know if mine is waiting to be filled?"
She; "NO!"
Me; "Well, thanks!" all the while mumbling un-nice things under my breath.
Me; dialing the number to the MO's Nurse.
MO's Nurse; "This is MO's nurse, may I help you?"
Me; "This is me, you called in a script to the Leland Walmart Pharmacy for me earlier today and they are telling me they don't have a record of it.
MO's Nurse; "This is the SECOND TIME this has happened to a patient of our's today! If you can hold for just a minute I will check with the pharmacy."
Me; holding, holding, holding, holding, DISCONNECTED!!
Me; hit "REDIAL"
MO's Office Phone Maze Answers again.....Push the correct buttons to speak with MO's Nurse and get the GastroInterology Section. GI Nurse tells me that she will transfer the call to the correct extension. MO's receptionist answers and tells me wait just a moment and she will connect me with MO's Nurse.
MO's Nurse; "We were cut-off".
Me, to myself (DUH)
MO's Nurse; "I just spoke with the Pharmacy and your script is ready. I have no idea what the problem was. I had to call earlier on another one and it was the same story: They couldn't find it for the patient but it was right there when I called to check."
Me; "Thank you so very much for your help. Rest assured that this will be the final time I use the wallyworld pharmacy services."
Me: Back into the store and the pharmacy counter.
Clerk; "Name and date of birth?" (More of a demand than a request)
Me; "yada yada yada"
Clerk; "We don't have anything for you."
Me (getting pretty ticked); "I just spoke with my Dr's office and you assured the nurse that my script is ready."
Clerk; "I didn't tell anybody anything about your script."
Me, backtracking; "I used "you" to mean the entire pharmacy staff, not you in particular"
Clerk; "I don't have anything for you. You will need to step over to the Drop-off if you have any other questions."
Me; "Thank you, I will" (I said that????)
Me, at Drop-off window; "Drop-off Window clerk, I have a problem."
DOWC; " Just a moment, I'm assisting another customer."
Me: WAITING AGAIN.....Pharmacy Manager comes up to assist DOWC and another customer.
PM; "You can come to this window and she will assist you."
Me; "No, I need to speak with you."
PM; "Me?"
Me; "Yes, you"
PM; "What can I do for you?"
Me telling my story to the PM; "yada, yada, yada"
PM; "Well, this just came off of the voice mail at 4:20....and ..... oh, it's on my desk for approval now. It will be just a minute."
Me; "If I was in here at 4:40 and you got it off of the voice mail at 4:20 why did everyone that I asked tell me that I didn't have a script here?"
PM, ignoring my question; "Give me just a couple of minutes more and I'll have it checked for you."
Clerk; "Name and Date of Birth." (Demanding, not asking)
Me, gave same for about the second or third time in 45 minutes.
Clerk; "That will be $9.33, do you want cash back?"
Me; "No thanks."

Me, leaving this wonderful, modern, marvel of the retail trade asking myself 'How do they survive with the lousy customer service that abounds throughout the company?' Examples:
1. Can you help me with this? No, it's not my department.
2. Can you tell me where I can find fidoboxes? No, it's not my department.
3. Where is the Manager? She's out to lunch.
4. How long is the wait to have a script filled? One hour. (no other customers in sight)
5. How long is the wait for an oil change? It will be an hour (one other vehicle in sight)
6. What is this horrible smell in the grocery area? Something must be rotten somewhere.

Yes, the American Retail Trade is in good hands.
Sam Walton must be spinning over and over in his grave.
Of course Sears, JC Penny and the other BIG retailers are not much better.
The days of real customer service are long, long gone. Heck, most of these
"clerks" and "cashiers" can't even make change without relying on the computerized cash registers in use today. Most don't have a clue about MANNERS!!!! It seems that a great deal of them think of the customer as a distraction from their gossip sessions.


My little saga of today comes to an end on a high note.....
I picked my Bride up from the hair place and we went to dinner. I ate too much (have to keep my weight up per the MO and RO).

Hair....reminds me of another story. A friend (I do have a few) told me she would loan me her wig when my hair falls out. Told her thanks but no thanks, she doesn't have a blonde wig and I have always wanted to be a blonde.

I'm on call this weekend so I have to carry two pagers and a cellphone everywhere I go. Hope they all don't go off at once while we're at the picnic. (Hope the weather holds, we might ride the motorcycles).

Until next time.......Smile and make people wonder what you've been up to.

It's Saturday !!

No work, at least not for me. We (my Bride and I) are going to a "Picnic" just before Noon. It will be at a local park. Hope the weather holds out. This is put on by a group that we belong to. Was fun last year and should be even better this year. Bride loves these things, but honestly, I will miss my air conditioned living room and sofa!

A friend from my not too distant past sent me a "Thought for Today" a few weeks back. It's receipt actually coincided with my diagnosis. It was a quote from Professor Randy Pausch. You really should look him up on Google or click on the link here. Here's what it says.

We can't change the cards we're dealt, just how we play the hand.

- Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

This quote made me think about the situation I find myself in. I had seen and listened to Randy's "Last Lecture" via You Tube or something similar. The whole concept was intriguing and enlightening. I followed Randy's story until his death. I think that I draw some of my strength from this remarkable man and the 'life attitude' that he displayed.

There are more Randyisms out there and some are really good!.

Melancholy sets in.

I guess, above all, I just want those that I love to always remember that one little word, above all else, when they think of me.

Another Day

Today I spoke with the medical oncologist (MO) again. We are on go for Monday morning. We're gonna try a three drug cocktail. The Radiation Guy (RG) wants to shrink this thing before he tries to cook away the rest of it. Hey, that's fine by me. The MO thinks this will work just fine. Chemo, three weeks later, Chemo and another MRI. If all looks well the RG will get his shot.
For those of you have never had something like this....some people just don't know how to handle the whole thing. Sometimes it's kinda comical, sometimes it kinda sad. Some times they whisper (why, I can still hear?), touch you when they speak (body-to-body transmission?). I know that each and everyone of them are sincere in their concern, it's just the way I see things (is my sense of humor distorted?).
This is MY relief mechanism so pardon me if it offends. I woke up on the "green side" this morning and I'm celebrating!
Love and laughter to everyone!

Downer Day

Today I got a call from the Radiation guy.....leaves me a message to call Joe Blow (substitute name). I don't know Joe Blow from cow dung. Anyway I called and he told me who it was.
Bad news. We're (read that he is) going to delay the Radiation until the Chemo is finished. Seems the angle is not exactly right and he would blow away more of my lung that he wanted to. After the Chemo the spot should be smaller and easier to handle.
Oh, that's life. We have to play the cards we're delt. Right?
Have a call in for the Medical Oncologist so we can a better idea of what's going to happen now. Increase in chemo drug dosages? Longer chemo schedule? Wait and see.

The Oncologists

First one was the Medical Oncologist. This is the dude that gives the poison shots....
just kidding.....these drugs are really powerful!! Had my blood drawn (by needle not by pen and paper) and they checked to see if I was a "blue blood", I guess. I wasn't.
That all appeared to be OK. He's a good guy, graduate of "THE USC" (for those of you who are not edumacated that is THE UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA. He sent me to the Radiation Oncologist.
This guy is pretty bright.....he's got a PHD in something or other (medical I would guess). There's more questions and answers. He tells me to come back in a couple of days and we'll get fitted for the ZAP of radiation.
In the mean time I had a PORT-A-CATH installed in my upper left arm. Not too bad, they managed to numb the area they were gonna cut into. This was on a Friday morning before 8:30 and I still had to work that day.
Saturday morning, before 7AM they had me in the radiology department at the local hospital for an MRI of the brain (could have saved all of us some time and me some money if they had listen when I told them the skull was empty).
Back to the Medical guy for a CHEMO-CLASS. That's where they tell ya what to expect after the chemo treatments begin. Doesn't sound like a lot of fun. Bunches of could's and maybe's and if's and and's. We'll just have to see.
Next trip was to the Radiation Doc. They took some x-rays and some measurements. Then the little lady said "I'm gonna tattoo you in three places." Wham-bam, thank ya ma'am. Hurt like hell, let me tell ya. Much more than having the Port-A-Cath put in.
I almost came up off of the x-ray table and probably would have except for the big old x-ray machine over my face.
Left there and went to the hospital again, this time for another CT. Seems they couldn't use the one I just had a couple of week previous.
Medical Doc starts scheduling everything.....begin Chemo on Monday mornnin, early, followed by radiation. Chemo once a week and Radiation 5 times.